omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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