Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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