Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
