we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Drunk is a universal language darling
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize