Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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