Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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