Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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