I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
