Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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