Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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