idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
