So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
