need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
