Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
