Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
