then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm like, not good at living.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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