So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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