dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
