Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
