Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
