Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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