so explain again why im purple
no
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
