i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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