if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
