I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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