I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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