Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
