Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Randomize