I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
