can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
