I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
