those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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