As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
