Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just tell him i said nine months
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
