if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
