That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
