I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize