I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
