what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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