Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
