She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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