I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
