Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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