I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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