wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
