Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
