Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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