margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize