Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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