I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
