If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
