ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
