Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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