I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize