You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
