Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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