i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
