let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Drunk is a universal language darling
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
