can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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