I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize
