come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
